Darts Poetry

Possibly more than any other organised sport, 
darts has been the inspiration of amateur poets.

Definition of a Sportsman
Is one who... 
Plays the game for the game's sake. 
Plays for his team and not for himself. 
Is a good winner and a good loser. 
Is modest in victory and generous in defeat. 
Is chivalrous towards a defeated opponent. 
Is unselfish and always ready to help others become proficient. 
As a spectator, applauds good play on both sides. 
Never interferes with referees or judges, no matter what decision.

 

Darts Poetry-It's The Finish That Counts

by Noel W WILLIAMSON

When you play darts
It won't matter who starts,
It's the average score
And the finish that counts!
If you've got a good eye,
(A firm stance helps you out),
A good set of darts,
Well - that's what it's about!
Take care when you throw, -
Not too high, not too low,
And don't throw too fast
or you'll lose scores, you know!
When you are well behind
Just bear it in mind
That the fellow in front
May never 'get out'
Keep trying to the end
For to this it amounts:
That however you start -
It's the finish that counts

 

Darts Poetry-Take It Steady

by Noel W WILLIAMSON
When playing darts, it is agreed,
A steady hand is what you need,
A good eye and a perfect stance.
(For darts is not a game of chance!)
Don't look to the right or left at all,
For that is how the mighty fall!
The board is your target, - not the mat,
So, be careful what you're aiming at!
Forget what is happening all around,
And keep both feet upon the ground;
Don't let anything hurry you,
And let each dart fly straight and true!
Once you have acquired the knack,
Believe me, you will not look back!

 

Darts Poetry-A Game of Skill!

-unanimous
Darts is a game where skill is needed
(So say all who have succeeded
In winning trophies by the score!) -
So, keep both feet upon the floor
And look at the number you're aiming for!
Keep your eye upon the board
And reckon up what you have scored,
And, - to save a lot of trouble, -
Try to leave a certain double.
When throwing a dart, you must "follow through",
Then wins will come oftener for you!

 

Darts Poetry-The Manchester Board

by Noel E WILLIAMSON

The first time I saw one, I murmured, "Oh!Lor"!
When playing on this, how the heck do you score?
No trebles - the doubles are narrow, indeed -
The Bull's a minute one - how can I succeed?
The numbers are jumbled, the boards changed it's face,
Where's twenty? - I see that four's taken it's place!
Sixteen is right on the opposite side,
So is twelve, and above it, eight have I spied!
Nineteen's the only one in it's right spot!
I'd heard it was different - but not such a lot!"
When you throw on a 'clock' board you know where you are,
But the 'log-end' IS different, sir - different by far!
Someone said," Here, we play 'Round the board'-
Up to twenty - then, the first double scored
you throw for again, and finish on 'bull'!"
(And, you can believe it - this game is not dull!!!)
Yet, after a few games, I knew where I was,
And got round the board without very much fuss!
When next on a standard board I had a throw,
I couldn't go wrong with my scoring, you know!
There's one fact that emerges, of which there's no doubt -
"If tha' scores on a 'log-end' - then tha'll score on owt!"

 

Darts Poetry-Missing!

by Noel W WILLIAMSON
We've missed the train, we've missed the bus, 
we've missed the evening post! 
We've missed the stop, and missed the stair - 
we've missed the morning toast! 
Now, there are many things we've missed - 
our cup of woe is full! 
When we've played on the dartboard, 
We've often missed the bull! 
We've missed the finish - "double top ", 
and tons we should have scord, 
when throwing for a double, 
we sometimes missed the board! 
We laugh when a lady player 
puts one near the chalker's nose, 
(though we should treat more soberly 
such incidents as those!) 
We've missed a good deal, in our time, 
but, let me tell you, brother, 
when playing darts, it can't be bad 
that we have missed each other! 

 

Darts Poetry-The Super Girls

by Bette PORTER

O.K. then girls, it's up to you. 
You know just what you have to do; 
So take your mark, watch that toe, 
Ready now to have that throw. 
It sails so sweetly through the air, 
You know the aim is fair and square; 
into double top it goes. 
Now watch that score just grow and grow. 
Who says we are the weaker sex; 
O.K., O.K. don't break your necks. 
Just admit now, you darting men, 
We females can get'em in. 
The local now is much more fun. 
With boys and girls both getting tons

 

Darts Poetry-Are You Active, Captain?

Are you an active captain, 
the kind who would be missed, 
Or are you just content 
to see your name on the list? 
Do you guide your team 
to help the games run smooth 
Or do you just sit back and stare, 
don't care to make a move? 
Do you attend the meetings 
and share them with your crowd 
Or would you rather stay at home 
and complain both long and loud? 
It's quite a league we've scheduled 
and meetings are only few. 
And we can't make it all go well 
without some help from you. 
So come to all the meetings 
and help with hand or heart; 
Don't be just another captain 
but take an active part. 
Think it over, Captain, 
are you right or wrong? 
Are you an active captain 
or do you just belong?

 

Darts Poetry-The Master Dartsman

by Noel E Williamson
He was known as "The Marathon Marvel", 
And 'Britains No 1', - 
If you wanted a exibition, 
He could give you one old son! - 
Knock a pin from a match 
held between the teeth,- 
The ash from a cigarette, 
With darts or nails! - 
(if there was one better, - 
I haven't seen him yet!) 
A shirt button or tablet from the tongue, 
He would remove with ease, 
his prowess on the board was such 
as never failed to please, 
'The Treble Twenty Wizard' 
Was a favourite nickname too, 
The opponents who won 
at three thousand and one 
Were very, very few! 
A natural showman, too, was he, 
With a joke between the throws; 
And he did a great deal for charity, 
As everybody knows. 
He'll be sadly missed in the world of darts, 
By players like you and me,- 
Truely, a Master Dartsman, - 
All who knew him must agree!

 

Darts Poetry-The Love Of The Game

by Noel W WILLIAMSON

There are those who play darts habitually 
to pass away their time, 
And those who play because of the beer, - 
The whisky, - the gin and lime! 
Then there are those who have set their sights, 
On trophies and championships, - 
And not very ofton between the throws - 
Does a pint touch their lips! 
Some play darts for financial gain - 
as well as fame and glory! - 
Some play darts to forget their woes, - 
But, - that's another story! 
There are many who play to improve their skill, - 
And here's good luck to them all, - 
May they never give up practising, - 
For that's how the mighty fall! 
There are many reasons for which we play, - 
And some, - we may not recall! 
But, - those who play for the love of the game, 
Enjoy it most of all.

 

Darts Poetry-The Darter's Prayer

Lord, Hear this plea of a darter poor 
Whose darts hit wires and then the floor 
I need thy help to win my game; 
And to make mine a remembered name. 
After the coin toss, let me diddle 
Double bull, right down the middle. 
And if the games are five-oh-ones, 
Help me shoot a bunch of tons. 
Give me a chalker whose counting flows 
Without the use of hands and toes. 
Who moves with speed to mark the score 
But, while I shoot, moves nevermore. 
And as the booze and nerves cause trouble, 
Please guide my dart to the proper double. 
And as thy will is ever done, 
Leave me not with a double one. 
Bless me with the skill and ease 
Of Bristow, Lowe, Wilson and Rees. 
One last request I beg, O Lord, 
Please help me find an open board! 
- AMEN -

 

Darts Poetry-The Dream Match

by Stephanie Barker

"Match on's", been called for the game to begin, 
It's two games all, we need this one to win. 
I'm stood at the oche, all ready to throw, 
'Cause now is the time to put on a show. 
The first's in treble twenty, the second as well, 
The third bounces out, Oh! What the Hell! 
My mate hits a maximum, to leave 201, 
A good score from me and the game's almost won. 
Sixty and sixty and then fifty-seven, 
It leaves twenty-four, we're almost in heaven. 
She stands at the oche, and is now taking aim, 
Double twelve's all that's needed to win the game. 
With the first two she covered it, it scares me to death, 
The whole room's gone quiet, I'm holding my breath. 
Good arrows partner, we've won the cup, 
Then I hear a voice shout, "It's time to get up!"

 

Darts Poetry-Dear Father Christmas

by David L Keatley

Please give me Eric's arrogance, 
The glitter of Bobby G, 
And give me the pride of Leight, 
and his side from the Principality. 
Give me John Lowe's unflinching eye, 
And the tons of the 'Ton Machine', 
And give me the chance of a victory dance 
in the arms of the fair Maureen. 
Give me wee Jocky's jolly style, 
and Billy's consistency, 
And spare me dartitis, D.T,'s and arthritis, 
And kink of the world I will be. 
But last, Father Christmas, one urgent request, 
That will touch other players hearts, 
I'll forego all that fame if you'll give me the name, 
Of the swine who has stolen my darts.

 

Darts Poetry-Top Score

by Jeffrey THRIFT

One hundred and eighty's a wonderful sound, 
To score it is well worth buying a round. 
Especially for those like me and old Claud, 
Who think we've done well to get three in the board. 
We step up to the line with our darts in our fist, 
we take careful aim, but somehow we've missed. 
The spot that we aimed at, that's always the trouble, 
we get them all on, but we can't get the double. 
And we get off, with a fluke double four, 
Old cloud takes the chalk to work out the score, 
The way he does that is the funniest part, 
At the end we need more than we did at the start. 
But we play every week at the old "Holly Tree" 
Sometimes he wins and sometimes it's me, 
And we drink up our pints and it's all very matey, 
As we dream of that score of one-hundred-and-eighty